The Kyle

The hills of green are visible far and wide, although, down here forever is blind.

The sky is shy today, as he decides that we all need a decent dose of grey without rain.

Winds flow through the castle which once housed our family and our loving hearts.

The sky knows what my heart feels, but he’s always been good at knowing my heart.

I travelled far and wide to try and escape the pain sitting heavily upon my heart as I miss you, yet I cannot keep going forever.

The sky tells the rain to hold off, and the rain orders the sky not to interfere; the sky and the rain grumble like a married couple in love.

Walking along the Kyle, I know the time is near; how wonderful it will be, after over one hundred years of your moods, you and I will meet again.

As the rain begins to fall, it seems the rain won the argument; perhaps I will win with you too.

Tangled in Treason

You were always the kid pushing boundaries. At school, some said you were the “it” kid.

You started to change at fifteen; eccentric cool turned into conservative stoicism.

You receded into yourself, and I could not get in, although I tried; now you look through me, or not directly at me.

Where did you go?

I’ve asked myself this question so many times; each answer appears insufficient to me.

Then, we saw your face on the news one hot December morning; you got Tangled in Treason.

You had a beard, wore your hair long, and your eyes looked haunted.
Where did Matthew go?

You lost your uniqueness and that spark; you receded inside and then became something new.

Why did Matthew do that?

You had a vest strapped to your chest as you entered a town square. The explosion sent you to forever, or I know not where.

What will become of Matthew?

You killed yourself and a whole town square for them; cannon fodder for a lost cause.

Now, as the rain falls upon my face, I cry for you and your lost soul; it wasn’t worth all of that to die at fifteenth.

I see such a waste of humanity, and I remember so much horror when I think of you today.

The Grumpy One

Listless and upset.

You sit clutching the remote control as if pressing the buttons will make things better.

He sits over there, horny and haggard from listening to your grumpy taunts.

You’re upset with yourself more than anyone else, but you take it out on him.

He wonders when you’ll come to realise those pork sausages are the culprit.

You’re plagued by atrabilious feelings, which only heightens your cloudy thinking.

He does something out of character and gives you a Stomach Ezzy with water.

You’re so shocked you drink it, even though you’d like to cry into the glass.

He sits by you and waits with his eyes closed, for he feels the shit inside of you.

You feel rotten and put the glass and the remote down, then paw his legs and feet.

He smiles and opens his eyes to say, “I see your mood’s improving little cat“.

You want to take the piss, but think better of it. All you can say is, “I’m sorry“.

He says, “Pretty one, that is enough…

20 then 40

In the beginning, the world spun out of control. You longed for stability from abuse and normality.

A course through others’ mental health hells would see you stand at 20 on the precipice of your destiny; the choices you made were harder than you imagined, yet you were determined to win this one.

As 40 creeps closer, you look to the future with bright eyes and wise lips.

Note to Myself

Sunsets are beautiful, so see them more often; You’ll only get to see sunsets for a lifetime, which is never enough time.

Don’t be afraid of the light, for dark and light are one. You are darkness and light, so embrace both with balance.

Be generous and kind even if they think you’re weak. Kindness is your gift, and your light shines brighter for it.

Don’t be materialistic, for you will die without material possessions. Instead, live life with purpose, travel and make human memories.

Be courageous and always be yourself. If someone thinks you’re a coward, that doesn’t mean you are.