Category: Urban Thoughts

A Tale of a Mop and Bucket

C and K WordsLeave a comment

Standing alone in your cafe on a scorching summer’s day. Obsessed about over-thinking and wishing for some relief from the heat, you reach for the mop and bucket.

You named your mop Boris and your bucket Dorothy. You take comfort in imagining that sometimes Boris gets a little angry with Dorothy, but Dorothy always gets Boris back when she squeezes the life out of him.

Dancing a little boogie to a random beat, you let Boris take the lead. Not only does Dorothy scold him, but you do too. He gets so hurt his head falls off on the floor. You pick it up and try to put it back on again, but it’s broken.

Dorothy will need a new Boris. You smile when you think about your new mop’s name.

Beer of our Love

C and K WordsLeave a comment
beer-199650_960_720

Magical yeast mixes with hops, barley, and water from a virgin spring to create a golden frothy liquid that touches the lips and heightens the senses.

Throughout the ages, monks have quenched their sexual desires by placing beer glasses to their lips, then being constantly tipsy. 

Not one for any convention; you created a beer like no other. You call it “Our golden goddess goon” as you say, I turn into the golden goddess goony whenever I drink the brew. 

The beer of our love showers us daily. It froths in our minds to foam all over our bodies, to stain the bed, sheets, carpets and the walls.

The Vent

C and K Words1 Comment

I lay in bed staring at the vent, thinking about you again and again and again.

Warm air blows onto my face; I cannot breathe, for the heat is too intense.

If this happens when thinking about you takes hold of my flesh, I must go now and find you.

All hot and bothered with no relief, I take a visit to the garden; the chill and the rain upon my face temporarily calm me.

Knife and Fork

C and K WordsLeave a comment
dishes-938747_960_720.jpg

The roast lamb is carved, the potatoes are golden, and the vegetables steam happiness, which curls and weaves a path to the chandelier of crystal so bright. 

What a delightful sight amongst the candles on this moonless night.

I think of your body and the way you used to say, “Let’s die with all the money!” or how you took my body in your hands and tried to squeeze out all of my light.

Scraping my fork and knife on the dinner plate sends shivers down my spine.

I am reminded of that time you squealed like a piglet when I stuck a knife into your heart.

Planking

C and K WordsLeave a comment

To

plank is to be free from the constraints of society and do something peculiar. Something no one really understands, yet certain people like to do.

To

be with you is something different and new.

To

plank for you sets my heart on fire, and my ears buzz.

To

plank on the chocolate biscuits of your love is so sweet, as we contort and crumble all over the floor.

Your Extreme Ironing Nature

C and K WordsLeave a comment

Your passion for extremes has always given me a sense of excitement and this newfound energy. I got caught up in your adventurous nature, that dark curly hair, and those sparkly eyes.

I never understood why your ironing basket was always empty, why you had those strange contraptions hooked on to your ironing board, and why you always took so much care of that ironing board.

I began to question our love, for you would sneak away and then return unkempt and exhausted. What were you doing? Did you find someone else to touch and tingle?

Then one day, out of the blue, you took me into your world and showed me your soul. You showed me how much you love to go on adventures, how to conduct extreme ironing in exotic locations, why adventures together are better than adventures alone, and why power points never seem close when you are so far away.

We continue to embrace your ironing board until this day. We have photographs on our walls of that ironing board, you and me.

Hills Hoist

C and K WordsLeave a comment

Since they were young, Claire and Ann loved to hang out together. Whether they were wagging physical education, using liquid paper to deface their school desks, plotting someone’s demise, or simply being fatalistically cool, these two were inseparable.

They lost touch until they were in their thirties. Instantly recognising the other, these friends decided to make an afternoon of their long-overdue reunion.

Ann loves nature, so they decided to go back to her place while the gents were out.

Claire forgot what a hills hoist looked like. It had been so long since she had seen the clothesline of her childhood. It reminded her of simpler times and the feeling of freedom.

They began to roll around together under the hills hoist. There was much chatter, chirping, and burping from these two as they re-acquaint one with the other.

They giggled as they once did as schoolgirls, despite leaving all of that behind long ago.

Under the hills hoist, they watch it spin and spin as they hallucinate about Unicorns, Dragons, and more. Colours fill their minds, and the world seems to feel so right.

Under the hills hoist, they make merry for they sampled magic mushrooms.