Taking horizontal lounge chair enthusiasm to a whole new level.
We watch three seasons and end up with bendy necks.
Tag: Poems for the Home
The Coffee Table
Sliding through the coffee table, I shout, “Oh no, I’m stuck!”
My significant other tickles me as I wriggle to be free.
In my struggle, the top of the coffee table comes loose.
I am free, but my favourite cup breaks; there are many tears.
Carpet Burns
Rubbing yourself against
the carpet.
Hoping he will tickle
your feet again.
Bookcase Dilemma
Climbing up the bookcase
trying to find you.
Up and up I climb,
looking at all the
dust and grime.
Spending precious time,
only to find that you
are hiding in the wardrobe.
A Sausage of Feelings
I bought a sausage maker. It sat in the cupboard for a decade. Then, one day, I decided to make sausages.
I remember how young you and I were when you bought the machine; we were in our late 20’s? Yes, I think so.
Waists were smaller then, minds were less clouded, hearts less broken, and hope brighter.
I stood before the sausage maker and thought that if I could make the perfect sausage for you, it would contain the following ingredients:
one part happiness
one part hope
one part kindness
one part worth
one part 1000 echo’s from the sea
one part the essence of 100 sunsets and sunrises
one part 1000 snowflake feels
one part essence of 100 people laughing loud
Then I would present it to you, ask you to eat it, and then ask you to look at yourself in the mirror. I would ask you, “What do you see?” I hope you can see the person you are to me, my sweet bear.
Kettle Calling
From the day you were born, that kettle boiled water. The kettle boiled water for tea leaves, tea bags, herbal infusions, night toddies, water for cooking, and water for baking.
That kettle with the white handle and the sky blue frame was always on the bench in the kitchen. The kettle was used by Mum, and Dad would use the kettle when he was desperate.
Then, one day as you sat alone in the kitchen, the kettle started to move. Unable to establish if you are dreaming, you sit up straight, wondering if gumption is the key here?
Instead of silence, the kettle starts to rattle ever so softly. “Can Mum hear this?” you wonder, “Perhaps not, considering I’m all alone and everyone else seems to have vanished for a moment“.
Not sure if you should caress the kettle lovingly or throw it out the window, you move towards the kettle. Suddenly, the bloody thing stops and out pops a teabag. Not the usual brew, you are sure, but perhaps something more exotic.
The kettle moves, then the teabag ends up in your left hand. “What the actual…“
Then the kettle starts to boil, and you get the impression that the kettle wants you to steep this teabag of magic into a brew. What can you do? Mum loves tea, and who would care if you drank a magical tea brew?
You place your favourite cup onto the bench and proceed with the tea making process. Once strong and to your liking, you sit with the cup in front of you. Hesitation grips you. “What if I turn into a dolphin? How will I swim? There is no water? What if… fuck it!“
Sipping on the magic tea, you start to space out for a moment. There is a bit of disorientation in your mind; then you see other lands. There is another world inside your cup; there is a world quite different from our world. One where trees grow black and green, technology is far more advanced, and there is a clean order to things. “Well, I must be dreaming because this shit cannot be real…” Yet, you cannot shake the images produced from your magical teabag.
After finishing the brew, you take the teabag to your room and sit thinking about what you just saw within your mind. You feel your mind expanding at the thoughts, sounds, and world of magic.
No wonder Mum loves the kettle so much.
Ice Cube Heart
Ice cubes sit in the freezer. I think about how they used to be liquid from the tap, and now they are blocks of ice. My thoughts remind me of a story once told by an old sentimental fool.
A man and a woman loved each other. When his love was new to her, his heart was warm. He and she moved through life easily, for the days were sunny despite the weather. His laughter was so infectious to her that she would often bloom with a smile.
After some time passed, his heart turned into those ice cubes. In her heart, he remained dear despite the cold feelings that crept into his arteries. Although there was no warmth in his heart anymore, she never gave up hope that his love was real.
Then, on a day like any other, they travelled together in the car; He was driving and calling her names over something trivial; She was very upset. He did not realise that soon she would leave this world, and he would no longer have the sunshine of his heart.
An accident occurred. As she lay dying in the passenger seat, his heart began to melt. He then realised how much he loved her. He promised to honour her memory by climbing many mountains and exploring the Earth with her ashes so that they could both see the world together.
That sentimental old fool is the man in this story. He died a few years ago and had her ashes sprinkled all over him before he was cremated.
Tablecloth Blues
“Darling, dinner is almost finished. Will you scratch my back? It’s so itchy…“
He gets up from the table, heads towards the man cave, then says, “I’ll think about it…“
You’re still itchy, and you know even if he is taking the piss, he’ll make you wait for a scratch.
The tablecloth has embroidered bumps that move along the fabric in perfectly proportioned lines. It suits your obsessive nature.
You take off your top, and then you begin to rub your back against the tablecloth.
The salt and pepper shakers fall over with a bump, the tomato sauce bottle rolls onto the floor, and the plates start to move towards the edge.
He comes out to investigate the cause of the noise, only to find his pretty girl scratching her back on the tablecloth.
“Are you quite alright there?“
“I’m itchy!“
“I’d better scratch you then…“
“No groping! Be nice!“
“I’m always nice, and you know it.“
You turn her head and give him a sideways eye smile as you start to moan from the nails down your skin.
The Extreme Setting
You went on Tingly Tinglier looking for a hot date. You found this sexy chic with long red hair, blue eyes, and long legs. You swiped upwards too many times. Luckily, she was a bit desperate, so she swiped down.
At dinner, all you can think about is how nice it would be to tie her up, tickle her feet, and bang her into the bed stand.
She’s looking a bit toey and tingly, so you ask her back to your place for an extra-strong coffee with cream, milk, and sugar.
Inside your home, romance begins on your washing machine. You’ve never found a woman who likes washing clothes, so this has got you baffled.
You get into her kinky nature and turn the spin cycle to the extreme. She’s in ecstasy, her toes are curling, and she looks like she’s having a seizure.
You want to be a gentleman, so you ask her if she is alright, but she begs you to keep turning the spin cycle to the extreme.
Things progressed. Now that she has moved in with you, your clothes are always fresh and clean.
Curtains
They live their lives without curtains.
Every Tuesday night, you hide in the bushes, down by the sand, and watch them in their underwear.
So many photos surround you in your apartment.
You wish he would look at you and tell you kind things about your lips and feet.
When will he see you for who you really are?
C & K 